Saturday, December 26, 2009

Not Enough Presents?

This is the first entire Christmas I've spent with my stepson. Last year, he was at his mom's for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and she brought him to us in the late morning hours so we could see my in-laws, open Christmas presents, and celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. This year, however, even though BM (Bio mom) originally was set to have him for the same set-up, she pulled out the week before. Still don't know why. All we got was an email stating that since we had him for his actual birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas this year, she wanted him for Christmas next year. It was a strange transition. First, she wants him for Christmas. Then, she'll just wait a year and take him then. Sure, whatever.

Anyways, last Wednesday was SS's (stepson) sixth birthday. His birthday party was the weekend before, so he opened gifts then, opened more on his actual birthday at our place, and then opened our Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve, and even more Christmas presents at his granparents' house on Christmas Day. It was like a week-long orgy of presents to which at the end he responded that he really didn't get enough gifts. Huh?! The kid got a new bike, several games, books, and Star Wars figurines. He got a mini-air hockey table, a microscope, a marshmallow shooter (for which he begged me), all the Star Wars movies, and tons of clothes. These are just some of the presents he got, and he said it wasn't enough.

I knew my DH (dear husband) was so disappointed to hear this. We'd been busting our asses all week to make sure he had a great birthday party and got all the gifts he wanted. I suppose this is normal behavior for a six-year-old, but it's sad, just the same. Even though not a "real" parent, I even heard my inner voice saying, "Ungrateful kids! You do so much for them, and they have no idea!"


Churlita said...

Oooh. That air hockey table would have been enough for me.

Anonymous said...

Six year olds are evil little pills, and it's all about them. You probably did too MUCH for him and he's overwhelmed...don't sweat it. You don't owe the kid ANYTHING, even if the world is telling you to be his doormat. The faster he learns that, the better.

It's also not about how much you spend...we've developed a tradition where I buy the skids ghastly sugar cereal for Xmas (they don't get it any other time of the year) and I swear that's their favorite thing least, that is the item they asked repeatedly about before Xmas: "You won't forget the Sugar Pops and Captain Crunch, right?"

(yes, they are little dorks!)

Also? BMs live to screw up your life, it's just what they do.

I've been doing this [childfree] stepmom thing for 5 years now, it does get easier, but you have to pretty much train everyone around you that a stepmom's job is whatever SHE wants it to be. Unlike BioMoms, you get to choose what you do and don't do.

Anonymous said...

Uggghhhhh! Sign of the times I guess.
What about having him pick out his "old" stuff to donate to a local charity for kids. You could involve him in picking out the old stuff and have him go with you so he sees where its going. There should be some charities that like Child Crisis centers (where kids go when removed from abusive homes) or even homeless shelters for moms and kids....

Just a thought...never to early to teach awareness of others less fortunate.
Sara "Do you have any snack mix" Miller.

Amy Reads Good Books said...

Great blog! I found you through the guest post on Stepmother's milk. I have to say that I'm super-glad the holidays are over. I have 2 stepdaughters and a similar birthday/Christmas schedule. I also had similar feelings about presents, since the girls get wonderful gifts. One thing I struggle with is how to get across to the girls that they are actually quite well-off in the grand scheme of life, especially while their BM is always complaining about her finances.

I did make them pick out thank-you cards for their dad this year. I guess we just keep at it a bit at a time.

I love anon's comment that the stepmom thing is whatever she wants it to be. I'm going to remember that!

Junkgirl said...

Churlita--Would you like to be my stepdaughter? I don't have one of those yet. We can play air hockey together.

I love the idea of the cereal present, Anonymous #1! And, I think you're right that he was overwhelmed. To heck with us for trying! :)

Snack Mix Miller--Love the idea of donating. Will do immediately!

Amy Reads Good Books: Thanks for reading! DH had SS write thank yous, too. After a little complaining, he got them all done and sent out! Whew! And, yes, we can be whatever we want to be as stepmoms! Hooray!