Monday, January 4, 2010

Nothing to Write?

My SS has been on vacation with BM for the past week, so it's been a pretty quiet week here, providing me with little fodder on which to write. DH and I painted and bought some art for our new pad. It's a strange feeling having this sort of Jekyll-Hyde life. Our neighbor (who is married and has two kids) made the comment last week that one of the best parts of being divorced (if something good can come out of it) must be having time "off" from the kids. That can definitely be a plus. As a stepmom, we get the opportunity to test the pseudo-mothering waters, but we also get to have more alone time with our partners than full-time parents. Having joint custody can be a plus, too, as the children don't feel as much like visitors. They're here too often to feel that way. But, it also doesn't allow for that much of a break, and it's difficult to get too comfortable in one situation over the other. But, I guess that's how it's supposed to be. According to research, stepmoms in homes with joint custody usually have an easier time adjusting than those in every-other-weekend or other arrangements.

One weird moment this weekend was when DH read my blog. I hadn't really shown it to him, although I'd often share bits and pieces or describe a story I'd written. Since being "Ms. December" and a guest blogger on Izzy Rose's website , though, I showed him some of my "accomplishments." While he laughed and said he found humor and some insight, he also worried about BM reading some of the posts. He encouraged me to keep writing and sharing my thoughts, but he said that if BM ever read them, she might get offended and raise holy hell. So, where do I draw the line? Do I censor my true thoughts in case BM reads this eventually? Or, do I say what I think and deal with the consequences if or when they come? It's a hard decision. I actually went back and edited one recent post, and I think I can find a middle ground here. I'm wondering what other bloggers have found success with. Have their BMs ever read their blogs? What was the outcome? Would you censor your blog just in case BM is a mad-Googler on a rampage?


Anonymous said...

No censoring, just an alias and careful disguise of identifying details.

There's actually a debate going on that's kind of about this on my blog at the moment.

But you could always post pictures of random kids and insist they're your stepkids if you thought there was a risk of being sprung!

Jenna said...

Hi, I definitely wouldn't censor. It's your blog, full of your thoughts and your perceptions. You're not responsible for her feelings and if she gets mad and blows up then you can do damage control, if that's even possible. Anyways, that's my two cents :).