Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Boob Tube


I guess I should officially announce that I am no longer a step-mom-to-be, which means I should probably change my blog's subtitle, even though it will be hard to make a clever rhyme. As of June 19, 2009, I am a full-fledged stepmom. Funny how we got married on Juneteenth-- the day the slaves learned of their freedom after the Civil War, only to become a slave of marriage. I kid.

Worried how my five year-old stepson might take the news (psychologists say they often react sullenly or violently as they realize that their fantasies of mom and dad reuniting is over), we broke it gently. But, instead of an ugly outburst, he jumped up and down in the car, hitting his head on the car's ceiling. Then, the only detail he wanted to know was, "Does that mean if my mom dies that you're my mom?" Umm, no. I will never be any one's mom. That is a bit of slavery from which I will always be free. I didn't say that, of course, but I thought it.

The tidbit I really wanted to share today is about the "boob tube." Stepson has recently acquired "boobs" as a part of his vocabulary, probably at that hoighty-toighty, touchy-feely preschool he attended. He seems to like to slip it into conversations, just to let me know he knows the word. Example: "Oh, I just hit you in the boob, J!" or "Don't worry, J. When I walked in on you in the bathroom, I didn't see your boobs." He even pointed out a super-heroine in a comic book, explaining that he wished her boobs weren't covered up. He's fascinated.

So, the other night, he asked if he could watch a little TV after dinner and before bed. Husband said yes, and after we were done eating, casually said, "Should we see what's on the boob tube?" Stepson's eyes lit up like light bulbs as his head automatically turned to look at...my boobs, of course! He had a sly grin on his face, like dad was giving him permission to look at my chest. Not only that, apparently, we'd all be watching it. The boob tube!

He looked slightly disappointed when his dad explained what boob tube really means, but five minutes later he was completely titillated by Spongebob.

2 comments:

La Belle Mere UK said...

Waaaaaah.... I'm so glad I've found your blog!

As a fellow child-free Stepmum I not only laughed at your blog but related to it to!

Found your blog via Stepmothers Milk.

LBM xxxxx

Tai said...

Good read! HA! You said titillated! Yeah its funny the words that kids will learn at school and other places. At least he isn't poking you in your boobs yet, which is what Nathan at 9 years old still does.