It is now two weeks since my surgery, and things are going well. I've learned I have a high pain tolerance, which means I don't have to take those nasty narcotics. I can see how people get hooked on them, because they gave me a euphoric feeling, but the nausea, headaches, and dizziness just couldn't make up for a short period of bliss. I have now gone to two physical therapy sessions, which, sadly, I look forward to--it's one of my few outings. Today, my husband asked me why I was putting on makeup and jewelry for therapy. I guess it's to trick myself into thinking that I'm going to a social event. I even wish I was back to work sometimes, and as a teacher, summers off are one of our few perks.
My stepson will be leaving on Sunday for two weeks with his mother. It will be weird to have him gone so long. Some of my stepmother friends have told me they feel sorry for me because we have 50/50 custody, but I actually see it as a benefit. If he were only here every other weekend or during the summer, it would feel more like an intrusion on our home life. But, knowing that he's coming over regularly has forced me to prepare and accept that this is a huge part of my life. On the other hand, it also never lets me get too comfortable in either situation--as just a newly married couple or as a "family." I'm not sure what it will be like to have two weeks without seeing my stepson. My husband will be gone for work during most of one of the weeks, but my family is visiting from Iowa--probably just to make sure I don't fall in the shower and break my neck.
I've really felt for my husband lately, because while I think the role of a childless stepmom is hard, I think his role as the father is often harder. He has so many people to please and negotiate with--me, his son, his ex-wife, his mother and father. We all demand things from him. This doesn't even count the rigors and expectations of his work. He hardly has any time left for himself, and sometimes I feel bad for not stepping in to relieve him of his parenting duties. Sure, I'll look after my stepson--I'm not a total cold fish--but I have chosen not to be a parent myself, and I know I don't have to be a parent to my stepson. He's already got two parents. I try to help when I can, but I don't overstep my boundaries, and I'm thankful that my husband doesn't expect me to be a mother, maid, or babysitter. I would go crazy if he did.
Now on to the good stuff--I've been watching "The Hills." There. I said it. Now I feel better for getting this off my chest. A couple of months ago, I turned it on while I was cleaning, as it was the only thing half-interesting on. I like to watch the news, but only Fox was showing actual news. I'm too sick of those "To Catch a Predator" on MSNBC, and the local news is just chicks with huge boobs doing the weather. There's no way I was going to watch Fox, so I watched "The Hills." Those kids are crazy! My favorite part is partying vicariously through Brody Jenner, even though he is King Douche. No, Prince Douche, because Spencer is the King. I'd seen all of season 5 and 6, so the past week, I've been watching the earlier seasons online. I'm hooked. My husband makes fun of me, and I know it's stupid, mindless pop culture crap, but what's wrong with that every once in a while? Shoot, if Ken Burns would've documented this, it would've been labeled a masterpiece. So, I'm going to watch away, because the series finale is so close. What will I do without my "friends"?
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2 comments:
I watched The Hills with my daughters last season. This season just seemed a little TOO crazy. But I also haven't seen it since Speidi aren't on it so much either.
It makes me feel better about myself, Churlita, to know that someone as smart as you watched "The Hills," too. This season was bizarre. Once Spencer started meditating with crystals, it just became too unbelievable. That won't stop me from watching the series finale tomorrow, though. No way.
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