But, events like the ones that happened recently in Haiti and Chile always put me in my Girl Scout "let's get prepared!!" mode. I make sure the disgusting looking beef burrito MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) haven't expired. I double check the batteries in the portable radio. I verify an extra pair of glasses and a stash of cash. Most importantly, I replenish the Vicodin. I say "replenish" because I've probably dug some out from time to time. Even if I'm not hurt in the quake, I'm absolutely certain I'll be needing it. Who wouldn't in a mess like that? It's a must-have in any survival kit.
While updating my survival kit recently, I started to think about why no one has ever invented a "Stepmother's Survival Kit." I need one and I'm going to start preparing one. I'm going to make my list here, and I hope that you all can help me add to the list so I don't miss any important necessities. I want to be a tip-top survivalist!
Stepmother's Survival Kit
- 10+ sets of earplugs
- Unlimited bottles of wine (or hard liquor of choice, depending on how difficult bio mom is)
- An ice pack
- A heating pad
- Tape--to help you keep your mouth shut before you say things you'll regret
- A helmet
- Protective shoes (have you ever stepped on a lego in the middle of the night?!)
- One bottle Vicodin (see above)
- A locker with a good padlock (who would've thought a 4 year-old boy would want a bottle of Pucci Vivara perfume?!)
- Extra furniture (for when the cool stuff you had when you were single gets ruined by melted crayons, markers, scissors)
- An extra pair of glasses (also see above)
- Your mother and best friend's numbers on speed dial
- Thicker skin
- A copy of Izzy Rose's The Package Deal
- An iPod full of power songs to get you through any situation
4 comments:
Re: the booze, the BEST [step] parenting advice I ever got was from my wonderful late MIL who advised me "learn to drink".
Other than that? A room of your own. With a lock. He gets his own kid, you get your own room...absolutely non-negotiable.
Ha ha. I've always been in the opposite situation. I've had the kids and I've only dated guys who were childless. I would actually love to date a single dad. I think guys are much better people after they have kids...That is, if they're good dads.
First of all, Blackie Lagoon--Where are you? Let's go get a drink! :)
Churlita--I've definitely enjoyed reading your experiences about dating as a single mom, and I'm always curious to read more. I think we stepmoms sometimes unfairly villify the bio-moms because they can seem threatening. I think you're right that men tend to be better people after kids. Whenever I have a little regret that it's not just my husband and me--that I have to share my life with his "entourage"--I remind myself that he may not be the man I love if he didn't have a kid. That makes me feel better, at least for a little while. :)
Sadly I'm stuck in Calgary, AB for the next few years (until younger spawn turns 18) at which point we can leave the clutches of bio-mom and move to the Vancouver area. I lived in Seattle for 14 years and loved it...US health care though is so dicey I'm probably stuck in Canada for the foreseeable future. But I shall raise a glass of wine to thee, up here in the boring cold prairie.
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