Kinder Playdate

Nope, this post is not about the softer side of children at play. The "kinder" in this story refers to a word that keeps popping up in recent conversations and nagging at my brain. It's a shortened form of "kindergarten" that the mommy crew is verbally volleying around. Examples: "Aiden, let's go meet Dakota over at the kinder playground!" or "Jaden is so excited for his first day of kinder!" Are people so lazy that they can't utter two lousy syllables? Or, is the inception of the word "kinder" a way for the nose-high bougie set to attempt to even make elementary school some sort of exclusive club for their kiddos? Kindergarten?! Not for my little genius. Nothing but the best for him. Nothing but kinder.

Another word that causes me to gag is "playdate." Not sure why, but the word kind of creeps me out a bit--the "date" part--maybe, because I've actually seen some of the single moms from stepson's kinder treating it exactly like a date. The mother of stepson's most recent playdate friend was a newly divorced bleach-blonded hooter-suit wearing mommy on the prowl. How in the world would she chase after little Cody in those platforms and shorty shorts? Since my husband is thoroughly hunky, I decided I would be the only one playing with and dating my husband, so I decided to tag along to this playdate. In order to go, though, I was forced to play the part of "helicopter" parent. Where I live, parents don't just drop their kids off to play and come back later to pick them up. No, now the parents stay, too. So, not only do I have to entertain stepson's little friend, but his mommy or daddy (sometimes--horror!!--both), as well. These parents hover around their kids for "supervised play." Control issues? Worse, I'm a good listener, so I always get an earful of whatever mommy's kept pent up all week. Three times, I've gotten juicy tidbits about marital woes. Little did these ladies know that I'm an evil blogger who will be posting all this.

So, finally, let me get to the marriage of the words "kinder" and "playdate." Stepson had a kinder playdate at the new elementary school last weekend--the week before school started. It was nearly 100 degrees and the kids wanted nothing to do with one another since they were all strangers being forced to play together. I didn't attend, but according to dear husband who did put in an appearance, all the kids clung to their mommies. He always uses the word "mommy," but stepson never does. I've noticed this about parents lately, too. They always refer to themselves as "Morgan's mommy" or "Julian's daddy," but the kids just say mom and dad. Are the parents trying to eternally infanticize their kids? Afraid they're growing up and might not actually need mommy and daddy at their playdates anymore? It all kind of made me miss the days when my mom would pull up to my grandparents' farm, let my cousins and me out of the car, saying she'd see us later. We played with goats, picked and ate cherries off the trees, and ran through the cornfields. And I never once questioned my mom about why she wasn't there to supervise.