Not Enough Presents?

This is the first entire Christmas I've spent with my stepson. Last year, he was at his mom's for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and she brought him to us in the late morning hours so we could see my in-laws, open Christmas presents, and celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. This year, however, even though BM (Bio mom) originally was set to have him for the same set-up, she pulled out the week before. Still don't know why. All we got was an email stating that since we had him for his actual birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas this year, she wanted him for Christmas next year. It was a strange transition. First, she wants him for Christmas. Then, she'll just wait a year and take him then. Sure, whatever.

Anyways, last Wednesday was SS's (stepson) sixth birthday. His birthday party was the weekend before, so he opened gifts then, opened more on his actual birthday at our place, and then opened our Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve, and even more Christmas presents at his granparents' house on Christmas Day. It was like a week-long orgy of presents to which at the end he responded that he really didn't get enough gifts. Huh?! The kid got a new bike, several games, books, and Star Wars figurines. He got a mini-air hockey table, a microscope, a marshmallow shooter (for which he begged me), all the Star Wars movies, and tons of clothes. These are just some of the presents he got, and he said it wasn't enough.

I knew my DH (dear husband) was so disappointed to hear this. We'd been busting our asses all week to make sure he had a great birthday party and got all the gifts he wanted. I suppose this is normal behavior for a six-year-old, but it's sad, just the same. Even though not a "real" parent, I even heard my inner voice saying, "Ungrateful kids! You do so much for them, and they have no idea!"

Finally, I'm Back

It has been a while since I've written. Mostly, this is due to the apocalyptic time of year--my stepson's, father-in-law's, and Jesus' birthdays. I haven't been a fan of Christmas since I lost my own "round yon virgin"-hood, but combine it with new family members' birthdays, and that's just a simple recipe for stress to me. I'm someone who thinks there must be a perfect, meaningful, one-of-a-kind present out there for everyone--if only I could find it. And, I usually can't. So, I overspend in an attempt to compensate for what I think are less-than-perfect gifts. Sigh.

The other reason I've been lax on the blog is due to my knee injury. It's been just two weeks, but I'm getting more mobility now, and I can actually hobble down to the computer now.

So, quite a bit has happened on the step-fam front since I last wrote. Thanksgiving. Now, that was weird. My husband and I have his son 50% of the time. We have him every Wednesday and Thursday, and every other Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We rarely see my stepson's biological mom (BM, as they're called on messageboards), because all the dropping off and picking up is usually done through school. They have a civil relationship--basically a businesslike partnership who can work together to make the best decisions for their kid.

There are no stipulations for holidays in their divorce decree, so the parent who has him on that particular day is the one who gets to have him for the holiday, unless other arrangements are made. My husband is very flexible, and when BM lamented a bit about not having stepson on Thanksgiving, his birthday, or Christmas this year, my husband generously offered to share time with her. She, however, suggested that she come to my husband's parents' Thanksgiving celebration with her boyfriend. Call us old-fashioned, but both my husband and I were uncomfortable with that idea. I know BM was offended when my husband told her this, but there is some awkwardness from my point-of-view. And, it's not that I dislike or hate her--I hardly know her. She has always been pleasant to me--even hugged me the last couple of times I saw her. So, it's really nothing personal toward her, but rather something personal about the relationships I'm trying to build with my new family.

First, this is our first official holiday together as a married couple. My first holiday as an official part of the family. Holidays are certainly about reminiscing and making new memories, and at least for my first married holiday, I'd like to not have to share it with BM walking down memory lane with my new family members. I want build my own relationships with my new family members without the ever-present shadow of BM. How can I do that if she's there, demanding their attention and joining in on all the "remember whens"? We accommodate BM all the other days of the year, so do we have to share our holidays in her presence, too? And, just because your kid is invited somewhere, does it mean that you're automatically invited, too?

Second, the whole idea made my husband uncomfortable. It's only been three years since they split, and enough time just hasn't passed yet to reach a level of comfort being in each others' company, let alone her boyfriend's!
She didn't show up to my in-laws' that day, and we had a good day.

Junkgirl Down for the Count

This time I am literally lame. Monday at work, I slipped on some rainwater in my classroom as I was walking to turn on the lights after we watched documentary on Benjamin Franklin. I didn't see the water (obviously) and...bam! My knee started to slip out of joint (this has happened about five times in my life) and I was down. Some of my students screamed! Several rushed to my aid, and I went into stoic "I'm okay!" mode. My students called me a "beast" because I got up and kept walking.

I went to the doctor, and I have to wear an ugly knee brace for about 8-12 weeks. The worst thing is that I have to wear "sensible" (ugly) shoes while it heals. I have a policy on never wearing athletic shoes outside of a gym, so this will kill me.

I've posted a couple of beautiful pictures of you to enjoy of my knees. Note that I already have a gash down my left knee where a screw holds my tendons to keep that knee from dislocating. Now, I get to have surgery on the right knee. And, yes, those are my pants down around my ankles in the photos. I'm not a ho--I just can't get the pants up and over the knee!

So, I'm doing some writing, but it might take me a while to post, because it takes me about 20 minutes to get downstairs to the computer.

The Junkgirl's Junk

Just because I'm a stepmom doesn't mean that's my complete identity, now. So, once in a while, I've got to take a little break from stepmomland and be plain old Junkgirl. That means spending hours rummaging around my favorite thrift stores. Over the past couple of years, I've acquired some amazing junk, and I'd like to share it with you now. Please turn off your cell phones or set them to vibrate. No talking. No flash photography. Now, sit back and enjoy...JUNK!


My first (and almost best) thriftstore Christmas ornament. I'm not one for holiday decorations, so I have to see something that really catches my eye. This sure did--a National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation ornament. If you look closely, it says "Happy Holidays From the Griswold's". Courtesy of Tabernacle Thrift Store, twenty-five cents.

You're not dreaming. Yes, this absolutely is a Christmas basket made entirely of late 1960s/early 1970s Christmas cards. Some very talented artist hand-picked the perfect Yuletide cards and lovingly stitched them together with gold thread (probably real gold) in the shape of an octagon. All this for what, you might ask? Why, to hold more cards, of course! Courtesy of the Salvation Army Thrift Store, $1.99.

HERE IT IS! The wait is over. The crown jewel of my thrift store ornament collection. You may have noticed, I'm afraid to take it out of the wrapper--it's just THAT amazing. It's got everything a Christmas ornament should have--shine, glitter, an oversized white fluffly dog named 'Sugar' holding a framed photo of himself with his loving owner, Elizabeth Taylor. Oh, yeah! I almost forgot--it also has the ever-festive red AIDS ribbon. Happy Holidays from Sugar, La Liz, AIDS, and Christopher Radko. Recently acquired at the Hawthorne, California, Salvation Army Thrift Store for (still has price tag) fifty cents.

This beaut is a wonderfully James Bond-ish cocktail bar. As it opens, it lights up to reveal the original barware. Below, ample space to stash your liquor. Above, a reasonable amount of space to display "Christmas at Graceland" and elves. Found at a random thrift store in Waterloo, Iowa, for the price of $100, including vintage barware. (Graceland and Elves --and Elvis, for that matter--not included).

A sassy "Have a Tall One" paper giraffe drink coaster. Have you ever seen a giraffe drink? Well, they probably drink a lot, and so do people in Palm Springs, because I literally saw hundreds of these in ziplock bags at the Angelview Thrift Store, Palm Springs, California. I bought about 25 for a quarter. Wish I'd have bought more.

These puppies make me proud. A set (!) of frosted iced tea (or iced vodka) glasses. Check out "Frontier Society." This picture makes me thirsty. Please excuse me while I go pour myself some cream sherry. Salvation Army, fifty cents a piece=$2.00 plus tax.

I shrieked with joy when I saw this little teak man bottle opener with his adorable mop top. My husband shrieked with fear that I would actually consider buying it and displaying it in our home. Who could resist at $1.99? He once lived in Denmark, but now lives in my heart--I'm talking about the teak man--not my husband, mind you. (And per request of my husband, is only allowed out thrice per year). Angelview Thrift Store, Palm Springs.

The table and chairs were in a state of disrepair before I rescued them from the House of Yahweh Thrift Store in Hawthorne, California. After restoring the wood and recovering the chairs, it's now worth much more than the $153 dollars I paid for it. And, I thank Yahweh for that.


When I'm not pouring booze at my bar, I've been known to drink a cup of coffee or six. I love drinking out of my Fozzie Bear Muppets mug. $1.00, Salvation Army.


And now...the best find I've ever snagged at a thrift store. This was buried behind piles of crappy crap at the Angelview Thrift Store in Palm Springs. I often thrift with a friend, but this day I was alone, so there are no witnesses, but I swear this is true. I turned my trained eyes toward the shelves, and after a few minutes, the color of wood I always look for popped out. I grabbed this hunk of teak and flipped it over. Made in Denmark? Check! Good brand name? Check--Jens H. Quistgaard for Dansk! Still working? Check! Price is right? $1.99--check! I quickly scooped it up and went home to check eBay. Another like it sold recently for $384. Apparently, it's a peppermill in a set designed in the 1960s. There were 24 different shapes to choose from, mimicking a chess board. This is one of the rarest pieces. Did I stow it away in a cabinet? No, but I probably should have. Instead, I use it every day and it sits on my table. I don't care--I'm not selling it and I enjoy it everyday.

I am happy to have shared my menial treasures with you today. I realize at this point that you may be full of bitterness for me because you've been looking for that Fozzie mug for years to no avail. But, please. Stick with your search. Keep your hope alive. After all, if I can find Fozzie, so can you.

Funny Things Your Stepkids Say

This past weekend, my stepson was full of zingers and one-liners. The funniest part is, that at six years-old, he doesn't even know he's basically delivering what I consider stand-up, or that he's providing me with ample material with which to embarrass him in front of countless future girlfriends to come.

1. First, his insightful commentary on Ritz Crackers. We were at the grocery store, and he spotted a box of "limited edition" snowflake-shaped Ritz. He was intrigued, yet baffled as he reached for the box. "Hey, J," he said to me,"I wonder if these still taste like Ritz? Because, you know, if Ritz doesn't taste like Ritz, then Ritz isn't really Ritz." True dat. A friend pointed out to me that she once had mock apple pie made entirely from Ritz. Can you imagine how this would blow his mind?

2. He exclaimed that my treasured "Elvis' Christmas at Graceland Holiday Village," was the "best Christmas decoration ever." I asked, "Do you know what that is? You know that singer I like--Elvis? Well, this is what his house looks like at Christmas." Stepson's excited answer: "What?! I didn't know Elvis was only one-inch tall!"

3. I like to be as sassy, fit, and trim as a stepmom can be. Once in a while (okay, once in a blue moon), I'll done some cute workout outfit and attempt to exercise. The other day I had no idea that my stepson was watching as I timidly tried the warm-up for Carmen Electra's "Cardio-Striptease." Trying my best to shake my hips and flip my hair seductively, I hear, "Hey! What are you doing? You look like a chicken!" So much for sexy. Next time, I'm locking the door to be alone with Carmen.

4. My stepson is also a picky eater, as most six year-olds are, so we're constantly trying new foods with the hope that some of them will take. If he doesn't like something, he'll immediately wrinkle his nose and say, "I'm sorry, but this just doesn't agree with me." If I make the mistake of saying, "Well, you liked it last time I served it to you," he'll zing back with, "You know, J, taste buds can change." One dish that worked wonders: Hamburger Helper. Who knew? In fact, he liked it so much that he said he wished his mouth was bigger because it was the best meal he'd ever had.

5. Finally, a new thing I just learned tonight. Stepson said, "You can't know everything. No one knows everything. It's not possible to know everything, because if you did know everything, you'd pretty much pop." The rhythm. The cadence. A new song? And now, "You'd Pretty Much Pop" by MDH.

As many stepmoms have said, having a sense of humor and being able to laugh at yourself makes this weird experience much easier. Little did I know how humorous it would really be or how much easier when you can laugh not just at yourself, but at your stepson, too. (Laugh at him in a good way, of course!)